Moxie

That maybe my mom is right. That maybe I haven't known him for years for no reason at all. That we're similar in a lot of the right reasons and different enough. And from March to July I tried to forget him. I thought I did. But once, he popped into my mind and I wondered "what if"... but I surpressed it.

But MAYBE maybe my mom was right.

Maybe he and I are going to end up together. The thought makes me smile.

 But I've learned not to hold my breath.

(We did, however, make a pact to get married if we're both past 30 and still single.)

But god, I missed talking to you today. It makes me feel needed. 

The truth is that it always bothered me. I couldn’t stand the attention you got. I was always in the background, smiling, trying my hardest to let you do your thing. And the only attention I got was negative or the evidence of deep rooted jealousy. I tried to let the closeness I felt with you overwhelm me enough to forget everyone else, but it never worked. My heart still screamed every time it went too far. Every. Damn. Time.

And I don't think it will ever not bother me.
But I'll do my best.